I’ve been trying to figure out a decent fucking way to kill myself since I was 14. I don’t own a gun. I refuse to let my mom come home to me hanging from the ceiling. I don’t have any type of pills strong enough to take me out. Sure I could slit my wrists deep enough and bleed out but that’s just a bloody mess that I also don’t want my mom having to see. I love her enough to keep it clean but not enough to try and go on for another year. Maybe I’ll find a really cool bridge and be peaceful and have a day just looking out into the water or some shit and I’ll just jump and it’ll be instant and maybe even come off as an accident so she won’t know how miserable I am.